Darkness isn't the way darling
by AMonkeyGirl
Summary: Clearly I was in shock, I just needed to realize it myself. It shouldn't have been such a surprise seeing him like this, but it was. What happens the first time Alice sees Jasper without a shirt - which means she sees all the scars - how will she react? Will she react as any normal vampire would or differently?


"Jasper..." his name came over my lips like a gasp. My eyes was locked on his back, and I just tried to believe what I was looking at. All those scars covering his shoulders and his back, maybe there wasn't that many on his back, but his shoulders and neck was all most completely covered in scars.

I started to cross the floor to get closer to him so I could see his skin up close, and then he turned around, and one more gasp escaped my lips.

Nothing made sense right now, nothing at all. How could people have done this to him?

My eyes followed the pattern of scars that was crossing his chest. Clearly I was in shock, I just needed to realize it myself. It wasn't because I was that shocked about his scars, more about how many there were, and how many people who had tried to kill him and failed. Which meant that he would have killed just as many people - if not more – as he had scars. Oddly enough it didn't scared me, I didn't saw the scars as a warning not to get too close to him, more like a promise that if I failed to protect myself, he would always be ready to protect me.

A tremble ran down my spine as I thought about the pain he had been through with every single scar, every time some one had bitten him, every time someone had tried to... Kill him.

"Alice... Alice? Alice?!" I blinked several times, before I turned back to the present and recognized the voice, the sweet Texan voice. My eyes looked away from Jasper's chest and met his eyes.

Desperately I tried to find the right words, something to say, but the only thing I could think about right now was sorry, I wanted so badly to say sorry, to tell him that I wished I had been able to find him earlier, to make sure he hadn't been through this pain.

"Alice, please don't blame yourself..." Jasper's voice was low but it was clear for me to hear that it pained him to feel me blaming myself.

"Sorry..." To him it should just sound like a sorry for blaming myself, but what I meant was: Sorry that I didn't found you before, that I didn't searched for you and got you out of it earlier. Also sorry for making you feel bad, because I feel bad.

My eyes was locked on the floor, and I had my teeth buried in my bottom lip trying not to say sorry for everything, trying to stay calm. I jumped when Jasper's thumb ran over my bottom lip or the part where I didn't bite in it, not only because the feeling of having electricity running down my spine, but also because I was surprised by the touch. I knew why he had done it, but I couldn't cope to stop biting in it, afraid that I would say something stupid, something I shouldn't say.

"Please Alice let your bottom lip go." His voice was all most begging, but it was also clear to hear that if I didn't do it on my own, he would make sure that I did it in another way. Slowly I got my teeth and bottom lip separated, but my eyes was still on the floor.

Then I felt a finger under my chin, and slowly my head was titled, so I had to look at Jasper. Which I did, or I tried not to, but then his eyes caught mine, and I was trapped in all the colors, not red, not golden and not black, a mixture of all those colors, it was like magic with all those colors.

"You don't need to say sorry, nothing is your fault. Nothing at all. So please darling don't blame yourself for something you couldn't stop, or do anything about. It's the past and that is it, you can't change the past, but you can always try to change the future, which is what you should look forward to." If I hadn't been head over heels with Jasper before I definitely was now, or I was more in love with him now. How had I been this lucky to find this amazing and clever man, who knew what to say no matter what?

"I... I..." Why was it that he could find the perfect words and I couldn't? Maybe because of the fact that I was speechless right now, it made sense that I couldn't find the right words.

"It's okay darling." His voice was so sweet and warm that without even thinking about it, I leaned closer into him, feeling more comfortable than I ever had before.

Before even thinking twice about I had wrapped my arms around him and my head placed on his chest, breathing slowly, inhaling his scent. Then I felt his arms around my waist and his lips placing a soft kiss on my hair, making every part of my body relax after the energy running through it. I got up on tip toes and kissed him on the jaw and then I leaned closer to his ear.

"I don't tell you this enough, but I love you so much Jasper."

Then a feeling of love - a love so strong it made me speechless - swept over me, filled my body with love and happiness. This was Jasper's way to say I love you too.


End file.
